I take the pain you cause me, and i attempt to bury it in the backyard, sitting out there alone, hoping for the sun to keep me company. but you keep pushing through. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it. those teary eyes look up at the clouds above me, and you are apart of the reason ive now looked down. down to the earth beneath me that has so much to say. i could follow the grass to the other side, somewhere greener. i could follow the road to a destiny, to somewhere where i belong…but something always holds me back. things like you. theyre everywhere. youre everywhere. you continue on like it never happened. you go on with life and smile and laugh. you dont even know what youve done. you dont even know that i believed. that i trusted. why? why am i so naive after all this time? after all the things in life ive overcome…and had to deal with? why do i attempt to find this again…why do i try my hardest to make people work? why do i worry about you…and think about you…and hope you come back into my life and tell me everythings okay? why do i wish you were there at all of my biggest days…and all of my lowest. where were you when i needed you?
you found someone new. you replaced me with you. you are selfish and i cant take it anymore. so this is what i had to say and now its said. so continue acting like i dont exist…continue pretending we never shared a laugh or a good time, but you and i both know how great it was. you and i both know we were the best of friends. or at least we thought we were. now i know who my real friends are. thank you for helping me with that at least, i can give you that. ill keep looking down and hoping for the sun shine brightly and dry my tears. so until we run into each other again and say an awkward hello, i hope youre doing fine…because no matter how drifted we are, for whatever reason you have to stay away…you are still here. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it.
—–you always wanted me to write a note about you…and i finally have. you may not understand that the only reason i never wrote one about you before was because i thought we were better than this. i didnt think you needed a boost or a reminder that im here. i thought we were good friends. but heres your note you looked for before…it came at its right time.
you know ill miss the fun we had, and the stupid things weve shared and done. you know ill miss your corky habits and your silly annoying things you always did that i secretly loved. no body is perfect and i am aware of this…you cant love everything about someone. i thought summer was going to be amazing with you.
lurver resigned <3
Copyright Laura-Lyn Burrows 2007.
