I take the pain you cause me, and i attempt to bury it in the backyard, sitting out there alone, hoping for the sun to keep me company. but you keep pushing through. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it. those teary eyes look up at the clouds above me, and you are apart of the reason ive now looked down. down to the earth beneath me that has so much to say. i could follow the grass to the other side, somewhere greener. i could follow the road to a destiny, to somewhere where i belong…but something always holds me back. things like you. theyre everywhere. youre everywhere. you continue on like it never happened. you go on with life and smile and laugh. you dont even know what youve done. you dont even know that i believed. that i trusted. why? why am i so naive after all this time? after all the things in life ive overcome…and had to deal with? why do i attempt to find this again…why do i try my hardest to make people work? why do i worry about you…and think about you…and hope you come back into my life and tell me everythings okay? why do i wish you were there at all of my biggest days…and all of my lowest. where were you when i needed you?

you found someone new. you replaced me with you. you are selfish and i cant take it anymore. so this is what i had to say and now its said. so continue acting like i dont exist…continue pretending we never shared a laugh or a good time, but you and i both know how great it was. you and i both know we were the best of friends. or at least we thought we were. now i know who my real friends are. thank you for helping me with that at least, i can give you that. ill keep looking down and hoping for the sun shine brightly and dry my tears. so until we run into each other again and say an awkward hello, i hope youre doing fine…because no matter how drifted we are, for whatever reason you have to stay away…you are still here. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it.

—–you always wanted me to write a note about you…and i finally have. you may not understand that the only reason i never wrote one about you before was because i thought we were better than this. i didnt think you needed a boost or a reminder that im here. i thought we were good friends. but heres your note you looked for before…it came at its right time.

you know ill miss the fun we had, and the stupid things weve shared and done. you know ill miss your corky habits and your silly annoying things you always did that i secretly loved. no body is perfect and i am aware of this…you cant love everything about someone. i thought summer was going to be amazing with you.

lurver resigned <3

Copyright Laura-Lyn Burrows 2007.

Im not going to stop being who I am because somebody told me I was too different. Because somebody told me they didnt like the way I act, or the way I talk or dress. I am not going to stop being who I am for anybody but me.

There was a time in life, where Id bury my head in my knees with pain because so many people didnt understand, because I wasnt being me because I was afraid of being rejected. That was a long time ago. Since then, Ive grown up…Ive matured, and Ive become somebody that I can actually say Im proud of. No, Im not proud of some of the things Ive done, and Im not proud of every little thing in my life…but I can I am proud that I am being the real me.

You get sick and tired of people critisizing what they dont know. You get sick and tired of people holding grudges. And you get sick and tired of useless drama. Backstabbing, twotiming, faking it…those are things of the past. Those were the highschool days.

In the future, and I say this as politely as I possibly can, I would prefer if anybody have something to say about me, they say it to my face. That they tell me how they feel, and if they dont like me…then dont like me, dont pretend to…cause I really dont care.

SO with that said, I just wanted to point out a few more things on my mind.

This may sound boastful, but I dont see myself as a bad person. I see myself as someone who gives and gives and never cares if she gets anything in return. If anyone ever needed anything, they can come to me and they know that, and they HAVE. If anyone needed a place to stay, someone to talk to, someone to vent to, or just a good break doing something fun…Ive always been the one to call. And anybody who knows me well, and I dont mean went to school with me and still calls me Laura-Lyn well, I mean the real we hangout and talk and care about each other well, then they would know this is all true. They would know that I have talents, that I have a big heart, that I am a strong person, that I am smart and yet so stupid, that I make mistakes and am human, and they would know…that they couldnt ask for a better friend.

People fight. its called life. Without fighting, we would never knew who really cared. Without fighting, we would all be the same person. Life needs stupid things like arguements to keep us alive and going, and sometimes, even to keep us entertained. So if Ive fought with you in the past and we arent friends because of it now, Im sorry, I guess it just wasnt meant to be…but I have nothing against you. And If Ive fought with you in the past, and we are still close…then I guess we really just fight cause we care about each other.

I dont have time to put up with drama and games. So if you have them, save them. Keep them away from me because I could care a less.

This note may seem pointless to most, and rambling to others…but I dont care. Because I dont care what people think or say. I am who I am, deal with it. I have people that love me, I dont NEED you to care. I have people who respect me, I dont NEED you to try. I have people who accept me, and I definitely dont need you to settle for anything less than you want to.

Lets all grow up a little people, and realize that we are in the real world now. High school ended a long time ago…and if youre still caugh up in all the little bullshit, then you really need to take a good look at yourself and ask who’s reaaally the drama queen. Cause it sure aint me.

Copyright Laura-Lyn Burrows 2007.