The best of bests. « Laurrrraaaaa B

{May 28, 2007} Youre Just Another Picture To Burn.

I take the pain you cause me, and i attempt to bury it in the backyard, sitting out there alone, hoping for the sun to keep me company. but you keep pushing through. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it. those teary eyes look up at the clouds above me, and you are apart of the reason ive now looked down. down to the earth beneath me that has so much to say. i could follow the grass to the other side, somewhere greener. i could follow the road to a destiny, to somewhere where i belong…but something always holds me back. things like you. theyre everywhere. youre everywhere. you continue on like it never happened. you go on with life and smile and laugh. you dont even know what youve done. you dont even know that i believed. that i trusted. why? why am i so naive after all this time? after all the things in life ive overcome…and had to deal with? why do i attempt to find this again…why do i try my hardest to make people work? why do i worry about you…and think about you…and hope you come back into my life and tell me everythings okay? why do i wish you were there at all of my biggest days…and all of my lowest. where were you when i needed you?

you found someone new. you replaced me with you. you are selfish and i cant take it anymore. so this is what i had to say and now its said. so continue acting like i dont exist…continue pretending we never shared a laugh or a good time, but you and i both know how great it was. you and i both know we were the best of friends. or at least we thought we were. now i know who my real friends are. thank you for helping me with that at least, i can give you that. ill keep looking down and hoping for the sun shine brightly and dry my tears. so until we run into each other again and say an awkward hello, i hope youre doing fine…because no matter how drifted we are, for whatever reason you have to stay away…you are still here. you keep coming up in my head. you keep bothering me without bothering me. you dont call, and you dont come around anymore, but youre still somehow here. and i hate it.

—–you always wanted me to write a note about you…and i finally have. you may not understand that the only reason i never wrote one about you before was because i thought we were better than this. i didnt think you needed a boost or a reminder that im here. i thought we were good friends. but heres your note you looked for before…it came at its right time.

you know ill miss the fun we had, and the stupid things weve shared and done. you know ill miss your corky habits and your silly annoying things you always did that i secretly loved. no body is perfect and i am aware of this…you cant love everything about someone. i thought summer was going to be amazing with you.

lurver resigned <3

{May 28, 2007} At The End of the Day, We All Want To Be Okay.

i have this insta best friend that came into my life one day, and not only do we have the same birthday, but we have a lot in common…only she is going through things now that ive already long passed. there is nothing more in life she could ask for than me. its hard to descriibe how much she has changed my life in only a few months. i want to change hers, and i try, but its hard to get through. i wrote this for her:

every day is a challenge that we attempt to overcome, but continue the struggle onto the next day, but thats the way its supposed to be. you can try as hard as you can, but your life is always in the hands of others. it doesnt matter how many people tell you everything is going to be okay, you always feel it wont. it doesnt matter how many times you rethink things, or over analyze them…it isnt doing any help.

some days are going to let you down, some days are going to lift you up. its just the way things are. but dont be afraid of the days that let you down, or youll never know if you could have been lifted up. the secret to life is to put yourself out there, so you dont wake up one day with regrets.

let the real person you are shine through at all times, for someone will catch a glimpse of it and fall in love…and those that arent as lucky to have you, will soon have regrets of their own. you deserve the world to treat you right, and boys to worship the ground you walk on…but in real life, that never happens. but heres something i can promise you: if you try doing what makes you happy, you might be surprised, and realize it makes others happy too. you might fight that eternal happiness youve been searching for. the key is to stop searching, and open your eyes…open your mouth and say the words youve always wanted to say, open your ears and listen to inner thoughts, and open your heart at all costs…you will be broken, you will be bruised…but you could get that chance of smiling. and in the end, your smile is definitely worth it. for your smile is what got me where i am today.

do something for yourself. it makes ME happy.

“If we go down, we go down together.” –Taking Back Sunday

{May 28, 2007} As You Sit and Pray.

You are the pretty rock, amongst all the ugly ones.

Days pass by and nothing changes, but everythings different. we are still the same people weve always been, but somehow somebody new. each day that passes by us, we make decisions, we make mistakes, we make friends, we fall in love, we cry, we yell, we smile. and each day that passes, we wonder why. the wondering will always be with us and never stop. we wonder why we bother…we wonder where we will end up…we wonder who it will be with.

we sit and we try to recollect that exact moment…when everything in our lives took a turn for the bad…and when they took a turn for the good. we try to pinpoint the moments in our lives that alter us…but we fail to see that we are to never know. we fail to realize that every day is a changing event…that every day alters us.

we could assume certian times are significant in who weve become, such as the day we met someone, or the day somebody left us…or the day we move away, or the day we get that amazing new job or got into college…but its the little extras that make each of us special. its the moments we never recognize that interests the hearts of others around us. its that day you kissed a random and realized the real person you loved. its that day you saw your mom cry and you never wanted to hurt her again. its that day you finally smiled after a really bad storm and the flu. its that moment you felt any kind of difference in your life.

but we dont seem to grasp these times until someone points them out to us. until someone says, “what makes you amazing is all the little things you do and have done.” we always feel like ourselves, but its others that can tell when we arent. its others that can define who we are better than we can. for we are blind to the true wonderful people we actually are.

thank you. to those people who help me to see the light in the dark room. to those people who remind me how special i can be. to those people who see the real me. you are the moments that have altered my life.